Retirement Wishes, Words of Wisdom for Retirement

What retirement wishes can you give to a colleague who leaves for retirement? What if he is younger than you are, or what if he is “retiring” to live in a beautiful foreign country? What can you say to someone who has seen it all, with way more experience than you’re likely to get (because, you’ll go for an early retirement after reading our Retiring in Belize article)? What wishes for retirement will you have for him or her?

In the retirement wishes below, we’ve made John the subject of our fun and laughter. Of course, you’ll want to replace the name. But you’ll also want to add elements from his or her career in your retirement wishes. 

Funny retirement wishes and jokes

We have collected a number of funny jokes and wishes for retirement. Please let us know if there are any that we can add. 
  • For John’s retirement, his colleagues gave him a gold watch, useless, John now has all the time in the world. They should have given him a watch when he joined. Maybe, just maybe, we’d have finished a meeting on time.
  • It was about time that John stepped aside, and let a less experienced and less able man (myself) take his place.
  • We wish John as many fulfilling moments as the amount of useless meetings we’ve occupied him with during the last 30 years.
  • John understood one thing: the best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. But John, you’re 40!
  • John, we have decided to grant you your three wishes: less time with colleagues, less salary and many miles between us. Enjoy living in Belize.
  • Thanks for being such a social colleague, John: we’ll miss the wild company parties, we’ll miss the rumors that we never did get to confirm, we’ll miss restocking the bar with beers and hotdogs on the friday evenings. John, we will miss… (pause)… . No, we won’t miss you. You’ll need to emigrate to Belize before you’ll stop coming into the office!
  • John, we wish you a long round the world trip! Bye bye.
  • Go, get out of here! You’re a free man. Go enjoy yourself. And don’t mind us, slaving away for the next 20 years until we get set free!
  • John never was one to care much about the path set out for him by society. He’d always say: the road less traveled is the one worth taking. So John, at only 35 years old, you are DOING WHAT? You are retiring? To a beautiful place that is friendly, tropical, welcoming and cheap, and you are doing all this with your best years still ahead? We all envy you John! Enjoy living in Belize.

Words of Wisdom for Retirement

If the retirement wishes above don’t meet your specific needs, you can always quote George Foreman, Peter Drucker or Danny McGoorty. See their retirement quotes: 
  • The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income. George Foreman
  • There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job. Peter F. Drucker
  • I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. Danny McGoorty, Irish Pool Player